Silence is Golden

One of my favorite things to do at night is lay in bed and read a book. Since my hubby has gotten back, it has been a lot harder to do. He likes to get to sleep much earlier than I do, but also likes to spend as much time with me as possible. To effectively problem solve this issue, I downloaded the Kindle application to my Droid phone and turned the reader to black with white lettering so as not to disturb his rest. So far it has been working out great. I get to read well into the night and he sleeps soundly beside me.

One of my favorite things about this experience is feeling his breath lightly dancing across my bare shoulder in an air kiss. As his sleep deepens, his breath starts to slow and I find myself relaxing in its rhythm. I treasure these moments because I know that he will deploy again one day and I will be left with memories and the scent of his cologne as gentle reminders. The silence is golden and the experience is priceless.

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Poking the Bear

I have a temper. There I admitted it. Three years of Debate in High School years ago has provoked me to not let anybody get the last word in when arguing with me. Marriage is not easy, particularly when you are married to a Soldier who is just as stubborn. When we fight, we can get into some doozies and more often than not I want to bail because at the time it seems like the easiest thing in the world to do.

Soooo I have decided that in order to really talk about the process needed to truly love, that it is important to bear my soul. Not all of what we go through, but the pain of experience and the lessons I have learned because of the journey.

I am a romantic at heart and so is my husband. Put the two of our personalities together and we can become quite volatile. Boring we are not, but we are definitely honest and that is the beauty of deepening passion and compassion for each other. He is my anchor when I feel overwhelmed, my mirror of accountability, and let's just face the reality...having somebody expose the imperfect areas of your life sucks when you allow God to use your marriage as a means to detox the crap out of your life.

Despite my husband's occasional irritation with me, he still pursues me and that just blows me away. There have been a few fights where I have threatened to leave because of pride and fears about our future, and the devastation on his face was enough to convey to me just how deeply he loved and still loves me.

Marriage isn't a picnic, but I would not change a thing or the choices I have made. Yes, my husband gets angry with me, but he is also quick to forgive. Some of his buddies at work call him a Polar Bear. He may look cuddly and cute, but he is also quick to protect hearth, home and the ones he loves...

Don't provoke him. I am the only one allowed to poke this bear.....

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The Way He Looks at Me

You can tell a lot about a couple by the way they look at each other when they think the other person is not paying attention.  My husband is one such person.  He may not be Soldier of the Year...but he's my soldier of the century and that is all that matters.  When we are laying in bed just chit chatting or holding each other, the way he looks at me is enough to melt butter.  It is with eyes full of grace, compassion, care, love and adoration.  Nevermind that I am a very difficult person to get along with...opinionated, moody, extroverted, and loud.  Nevermind that I am carrying around a few extra pounds. He loves me fully, deeply and completely.

I nag him about a lot of things. Like any couple, we argue but are working on communicating better with each other.  Despite all my flaws, he still romances me.  Yesterday morning I woke him up groaning in pain. I was dead asleep.  Very quietly he grabbed my hand and held on to  it until I was quiet again.  A couple of hours later, he slipped out of the bed, went downstairs, grabbed me a couple of ibuprofen for the pain in my body and a glass of water.  I didn't have to ask. 

A few years ago my only definition of romance swayed in the direction of roses, walks on the beach, and intimate conversation over a candlelight dinner.  Things have changed just a bit.  I still love the flowers, beach and dining by candlelight, but to me the intimacy of life is being able to recognize my husband's love in the midst of my pain. 

Intimacy is more than sex.  It is being passionately devoted to somebody and being fully vulnerable to them.  He is my soulmate and the jewel in my crown.

As You Wish

Without fail my husband calls me his Princess Bride every single day when he greets me or when he signs off for the night. It is his nickname for me. When he does say it, I always think of this scene, but now I can honestly say that I don't know what to think. I am bossy, so the fact that Buttercup orders Wesley makes me look like a jerk. LOL...

To be perfectly honest. I am truly blessed. I really do have the most amazing husband! I love you baby!