I am really really tired. These past few weeks have been emotionally draining on me as I have had to respond to one call after another helping out families all over my husband's battalion. I love being an FRG Leader, but lately things have been harder to contend with and I have been forced to cry out to God for answers. Through it all, I hear God's voice and am reassured that despite those who wish harm on me, that I have God protecting me. In my quiet times I am reminded that Christ, who was repeatedly accused of things he was innocent of, remained silent. Instead he responded to His accusers with compassion.
Today was no exception. After a particularly exhausting morning answering some issues which had popped up, I went to work tired and at that point really missing my husband. Not more than 30 minutes into my morning, a woman came into the store looking for a particular Bible and as i started to help her, she stopped me, looked at me and said "you look really tired." I told her that I was beyond exhausted. She joked around and said I needed a spa day. I quipped back that I wished my husband was home to rub my feet, hug me and tell me that everything was going to be ok. Immediately, she grabbed me around the neck, gave me a huge hug and told me that despite all the attacks against me, that God had my back. She then started praying over me to have peace, understanding, patience, and to feel God's love despite the emptiness and separation I was experiencing.
I almost cried. Those who know me often comment that I am a bleeding heart. So much so, that often times I end up getting burned by those I care for the most. I will give the shirt off my back, the food in my pantry and the things I have the least to give, my time, in order to do what I can to improve the quality of life for people. I give and give and give until it hurts, and for the first time in a long time, somebody actually turned around and poured back into me. It was so refreshing.
What was even more profound, was the lady who prayed over me was an Army wife who faithfully served for 27 years. Her husband was the Garrison Chaplain for years and she connected with me immediately. I told her nothing of my week, yet she seemed to understand and before she left, she reached into her purse, pulled out her card and told me to call and/or email her. Maybe this is the break I need. It is as if God heard my cries and brought somebody in my life to encourage and motivate me despite the agony I often feel when others try to hurt me with their words or actions.
I give because I care, I care because Christ compels, I love because Christ died, I forgive because that is the essence and message of the Cross.