Life is not a game of striving and indulgence. It is not a long march of duty and obligation. It is not, as Henry Ford once said, "one damn thing after another." Life is a desperate quest through dangerous country to a destination that is, beyond all our wildest hopes, indescribably good. Only by conceiving our days in this manner can we find our way safely through. You see, different roads lead different places. To find the Land of Desire, you must take the journey of desire. You can't get there by by any other means. If we are to take up the trail and get on with our quest, we've got to get our hearts back, which means getting our desire back.
-Desire...John Eldredge
Stepping out into the heat and humidity of the morning, I gazed up into the sky in a moment of reflection and was greeted by the sight of a giant X ripped across the sky. The after effects of a Air Force Jet marked the sky in a smoky crisscrossed trail. Gazing up in wonderment, I felt the love of God and it was at that moment I realized He had sent me a gigantic kiss to greet my day. As small as I feel under the weight of healing the wounds of my past, He has been the one constant in all of my life. His perfection marks my unperfection. His unwavering love dispels my wavering. His grace covers me when my humanity shines forth.
Waves of emotional attacks have unleashed against my soul over the past several weeks as I have travelled the path towards wholeness. My desert of testing has left me panting for water and sustenance and the only thing bringing me peace are the moments spent quietly communing with my Heavenly Father. As the wounds of my past are exposed and its infections cleaned out, I draw strength from the words which leap off the page at me through scripture and the resonating sounds of a surrendered heart worshipping a Heavenly Father who is the only thing that can rescue us in life.
Emotional sewage has tired me. The heat of the Refiner's fire has forced the dross of sin in my life to rise to the top. As God reveals and brings the sin to the surface, I feel the weight lifting and healing power purifying me. I no longer desire to live behind a wall compounding the aches and pangs of living and instead choose to confront the pain head on so that I may live life to the fullest.
Psalm 63:1-8
God--you're my God! I can't get enough of you!
I've worked up such hunger and thirst for God, traveling across dry and weary deserts.
So here I am in the place of worship, eyes open, drinking in your strength and glory.
In your generous love I am really living at last! My lips brim praises like fountains. I bless you every time I take a breath; My arms wave like banners of praise to you.
I eat my fill of prime rib and gravy; I smack my lips. It's time to shout praises!
If I'm sleepless at midnight, I spend the hours in grateful reflection. Because YOU've always stood up for me, I'm free to run and play. I hold on to you for dear life, and you hold me steady as a post.
Wow, man may fail me, but YOU have always stood up for me. X marks the spot, the adventure has begun...